Can you translate this for me from french to english please?

1. bouge toncul et viens ce week end en fait je pars a londre mais jeudi prochian (le 1 er) donc VIENS VIIIIITE

2. mec finalement je pars a londres la sem prochaine, bouge ton putain cul ici CE WEEK END. love u



thanks so much :)
1. Move yourass and come this weekend actually I'll leave for London on thursday (the 1st) so COME QUIIICK

2. Dude, I'll finally be leaving for London next week, get your ******* *** over here THIS WEEKEND love u

Not exactly literature, but there you have it.

EDIT: Gotta love yahoo, they censoreed my translation.
******* *** = fornicating bottom, if you know what I'm driving at.

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